Satirical Press International (SPI): On the set of The Today Show, Matt Lauer looks into the camera with the beautiful Natalie Morales by his side:
Lauer: Thank you, Natalie, for that provocative segment on making macaroni ‘n cheese as a sure thing to please fussy kids. Now let’s go to a special report from Savannah Guthrie in Fort Collins, Colorado.
Savannah Guthrie stands before a crowd of 30 middle-aged women wearing a variety of Fort Collins High School tee shirts and carrying signs.
Guthrie: Thanks, Matt. I’m here in sunny Fort Collins with a group celebrating their 25th reunion from Ft. Collins High School. (Guthrie moves to a group of women in the front). Hello! Who do we have here?
First Women: My name is Carol Lynn Martin. I’d like to send a big shout out to my wonderful husband and love of my life, Gary! Hi Honey! Go Lambkins!
Group: Good Morning, America! Go Lambkins!!!!!!!!
Guthrie: That’s the other show, but no worries. What are Lambkins?
Carol Lynn: The mascot of Fort Collins High School. Go Lambkins, Fight, Fight, Fight!
Guthrie: Do baby lambs fight? Anyway, I wanted to ask you about the latest news from Donald Trump. Are you a Trump supporter?
Carol Lynn: Absolutely yes. Make America Great Again! (huge applause from group).
Guthrie: Yesterday, Mr. Trump criticized Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate Tim Kaine for raising taxes in New Jersey. What do you say to that faux pas?
Carol Lynn: What’s a foe paw?
Guthrie: A misstep. It’s French.
Carol Lynn: We speak American around here, Savannah. (wild cheers)
Guthrie: Okay, but what do you think about Mr. Trump’s statement about Tim Kaine?
Carol Lynn: Sorry if it’s not politically correct, Savannah, but Mr. Trump says it straight. That’s what America needs! (group cheers wildly).
Guthrie: But Tim Kaine is a U.S. Senator from Virginia. He has nothing to do with New Jersey or its taxes.
Carol Lynn: The liberal, super-critical media people are always poking at Mr. Trump for what he says.
Guthrie: But what he said is completely untrue.
Carol Lynn: It’s how we feel!!!! (huge applause)
Guthrie: You feel angry about higher taxes in New Jersey, even though Mr. Kaine had nothing to do with it and you all live in Colorado?
Carol Lynn: Yes. I heard all about it from Rush Limbaugh on the radio.
Guthrie: There you have it, Matt. The Lambkins are rabid for Donald Trump. Back to you in Studio 3B.
Lauer: Thanks, Savannah. It looks like quite a reunion. Next up: how to keep your dog from rolling in dead fish during your next family picnic.
If you like this satire, you’ll love Buzz Kill, an irreverent, hysterical novel about political correctness in corporate America. Check out our reviews here.
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