SPI BLOG – YEAH…THAT HAPPENED!
Satirical Press International: For anyone following international curling the past several years, this week’s finding of illegal doping by an Olympic curler was long overdue. “You had to have your head under ice not to notice obvious signs of doping in competitive curling,” bemoaned a fan at this year’s Olympic Games in South Korea. “I mean, so many of those curlers are ripped–the way they sweep–no one could do that without medicinal help.”
Satirical Press International: Kate Kelley, the co-anchor of The American Selfie, opens the show from SNN Studios in New York. Kelley: "Good morning from New York. I'm Kate Kelley, bringing you the news and views of America for all the world. Today, we feature one of...
Cooney: “Glad you are enjoying it, Jake. What do you think about the recent shark arrest in Austria?”
Jake: “I know they, like, have this big problem off the Great Barrier Reef, and because the surfing is, like, so rad, they have to start arresting sharks.”
Cooney: “Jake, it was Austria, in Europe.”
Jake: “Oh, like, I never knew they had surfing issues in Austria. Isn’t that, like, The Sound of Music place, with that dude who married his, like, nanny?”
Cooney: “It is.”
Jake: “Totally dope, bro.”
Trump: “There’s no such thing as global warming. It’s Fake News.”
Trebek: “Your answers need to be in the form of a question, Mr. President.”
Trump: “I know all the answers; I don’t need to ask questions.”
Trebek: “These are the rules of the game. General Kelley was supposed to explain them to you. Try again.”
Trump: “Okay. What is: there is no such thing a global warming?”
Trebek: “Sorry, that’s incorrect. You are now at minus $1,200. Mr. Secretary?”
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