SPI BLOG – YEAH…THAT HAPPENED!

Olympic Committee Finally Hammers Curlers for Doping

Olympic Committee Finally Hammers Curlers for Doping

Satirical Press International: For anyone following international curling the past several years, this week’s finding of illegal doping by an Olympic curler was long overdue. “You had to have your head under ice not to notice obvious signs of doping in competitive curling,” bemoaned a fan at this year’s Olympic Games in South Korea. “I mean, so many of those curlers are ripped–the way they sweep–no one could do that without medicinal help.”

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Rare Shark Attack in Austria

Rare Shark Attack in Austria

Cooney: “Glad you are enjoying it, Jake. What do you think about the recent shark arrest in Austria?”

Jake: “I know they, like, have this big problem off the Great Barrier Reef, and because the surfing is, like, so rad, they have to start arresting sharks.”

Cooney: “Jake, it was Austria, in Europe.”

Jake: “Oh, like, I never knew they had surfing issues in Austria. Isn’t that, like, The Sound of Music place, with that dude who married his, like, nanny?”

Cooney: “It is.”

Jake: “Totally dope, bro.”

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Trump, Tillerson Match Wits on Jeopardy!

Trump, Tillerson Match Wits on Jeopardy!

Trump: “There’s no such thing as global warming. It’s Fake News.”

Trebek: “Your answers need to be in the form of a question, Mr. President.”

Trump: “I know all the answers; I don’t need to ask questions.”

Trebek: “These are the rules of the game. General Kelley was supposed to explain them to you. Try again.”

Trump: “Okay. What is: there is no such thing a global warming?”

Trebek: “Sorry, that’s incorrect. You are now at minus $1,200. Mr. Secretary?”

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