SPI BLOG – YEAH…THAT HAPPENED!
The reason for the rise in antidepressant levels was a mystery that Satirical Press International set out to solve. In general, Americans are taking more antidepressants, especially during and after the presidential election of 2016, but there’s more than meets the eye, according to Doug Boersma of Muskegon, Michigan, an industrial city on the shores of Lake Michigan.
“Have you ever spent a winter is Muskegon?” Boorsma asked the SPI reporter, “If you did, you’d be popping antidepressants like Junior Mints at the movies.”
Wolf Blitzer of CNN: “You said his heart rate was 68. Is that correct?”
Jackson: “Roger that.”
Blitzer: “Was the President agitated when you measured his heart rate? Was he watching Fox News or MSNBC? Do you think what he was watching could impact his heart rate? Did you take his pulse more than once?”
Jackson: “Wolf, I’m not sure which of these questions you’d like me to answer. The President was not watching TV during the exam. We don’t have TVs in the examination room.”
Blitzer: “Could he have been watching TV on his phone? Was he Tweeting at the time?”
Jackson: “No, the President was not using his phone during the exam. He was talking to me.”
Many of the Democrats and liberal media talk about global warming hurting the U.S. Take a look around. Do you see global warming? Temperatures are 20-30 degrees below normal for this time of year. That didn’t happen under President Obama. No, I have focused on border security–what’s a country without a strong border—and stopped the so-called global warming before it reaches us. It was just a matter of getting tough, believe me.
Brown [nodding head to camera while Blitzer fires off serial questions]: “All good questions, Wolf, every one of them. This is what we know at this hour. At approximately 3 p.m., Democratic Senator Barbara Boxer from California introduced a bill on the floor calling for the condemnation of killer Charles Manson, along with the so-called Helter Skelter race war, and a moment of silence for those murdered by his cult in 1969.”
Blitzer: “Sounds reasonable, Pamela, What are the Republican objections?”
Brown: “According to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, there are two primary objections: one, Republicans want a stronger statement that the death penalty should have been applied to Manson, which was the original ruling by the jury–this is a non-starter for Democrats, and second, these murders could have been prevented if slain actress Sharon Tate and other victims had been armed with semi-automatic handguns.”
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