SPI BLOG – YEAH…THAT HAPPENED!
Morales: “June, have you heard the news about the caravan and what do you think about it?”
June: “Yeah, my husband, Frank, and I watched it on Lou Dobbs last night. We’re terrified.”
June: “Because they’re headed this way is why.”
Morales: “June, do you know that the caravan consists of up to 1,000 people.”
June: “1,000! OH MY GOD!!!!!! (turning to the crowd) Come on, everyone, we don’t have much time!”
Hunt: “Good afternoon, I’m Kasie Hunt, with breaking news from China. In the wake of President Xi becoming exempt from term limits, the first such leader since Chairman Mao, Chinese censors have banned Winnie the Pooh from China. To discuss this development, I’m here in our D.C. studios with an expert panel: Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore (camera shows the characters seated at a semi circular table to Kasie’s left).
Hunt: “Good afternoon. Winne, can you comment on being banned in China?”
Pooh: “Please call me Pooh Bear (giggles).”
Hunt: “My pleasure, Pooh Bear. What do you think of this?”
Pooh (pointing to his head): “Think, think, think.”
The reason for the rise in antidepressant levels was a mystery that Satirical Press International set out to solve. In general, Americans are taking more antidepressants, especially during and after the presidential election of 2016, but there’s more than meets the eye, according to Doug Boersma of Muskegon, Michigan, an industrial city on the shores of Lake Michigan.
“Have you ever spent a winter is Muskegon?” Boorsma asked the SPI reporter, “If you did, you’d be popping antidepressants like Junior Mints at the movies.”
Satirical Press International: After one of the safest commercial aviation years in history, a Transavia flight was downed by the most unlikely cause: flatulence. On a flight from Dubai to Amsterdam, a young man created a disturbance with his row mates over repeated farts. “It was unGodly horrible,” bemoaned Jan Ver Beek, a Dutch man who sat next to the offender, “I don’t know what he ate in Dubai, but I can tell you that it did not sit well with him.” Another Dutch row mate, Hans De Jong, described the ensuring scene: “We begged him, again and again, to go to the water closet and get rid of the source of the stench. But he just sat there and let them go repeatedly, like he was taunting us.”
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