In a first-ever event, Fox News hosted a debate between former and current Republican candidates for President. Anchor Megyn Kelly hosted the much-anticipated event in Detroit, Michigan, Mr. Romney’s hometown. A huge, boisterous crowd greeted the candidates as they took the stage.

Ms. Kelly: “Good evening, Gentlemen.”

Romney and Trump: “Good evening, Megyn.”

Kelly: “Let’s start with you, Mr. Romney. Today, you made a speech at the University of Utah. In the speech, you said Mr. Trump’s promises were as worthless as a Trump University degree.”

Romney: “That’s right.”

Kelly: “And you said Mr. Trump was not a good businessman, that he had inherited his business, had three bankruptcies and failed in numerous ventures, like Trump Airlines, Trump Vodka and Trump Steaks. Furthermore, you criticized Trump for praising Vladimir Putin and disparaging George W. Bush. You added that Trump acts like a bully, makes fun of disabled reporters and brilliant women.”

Romney: “I think you got the gist.”

Boos and cheers come from the crowd.

Kelly: “You’ve known Mr. Trump for some years; does he have any positive attributes?”

Romney: “No offense to you, Megyn, or my lovely wife, Ann, but let’s be honest, Mr. Trump’s wife is stunning, and I might add, she’s a successful immigrant.”

Huge cheers from the crowd.

Trump: “Can we keep the discussion on important issues for the American people, Megyn?”

Kelly: “Like what?”

Trump: “Mitt Romney is a loser, a total choker. In 2012, he lost badly to a Muslim born in Kenya. He’s even weaker than Little Marco.”

Crowd erupts in cheers.

Kelly: “Mr. Romney?”

Romney: “Bullies notoriously overcompensate for their shortcomings.”

Trump (holding up his hands): “Look at these hands, Megyn.”

Huge cheers from the crowd.

Trump: “Do they look small to you? Believe me, I’ve got the whole package.”

Delirious cheers erupt.

Kelly: “Are you actually alluding to male parts during a presidential debate on national TV?”

Romney: “Sounds like it to me. Is this the character we want in the White House?”

Trump: “You’re just jealous, Slick Mitt, because my hair is better than yours. You have to compensate with gel. No wonder you’re still married to the same woman.”

Crowd: “U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”