CNN’s anchor, Carol Costello, opens her show from CNN studios in New York:

Costello: Good morning! With less than four weeks to go in the election, the furor over Donald Trump’s ‘locker room talk’ has gripped the political landscape. Some Trump supporters have started a new movement: Repeal the 19th, referring to the 1920 Constitutional Amendment to grant women the right to vote. I’m here with Repeal the 19th spokesperson Mike Carlson. Good morning, Mr. Carlson.

Carlson: Good morning, Carol. Thanks for having me. It’s important to shed light on this very important initiative.

Costello: Why repeal the 19th Amendment?

Carlson: It’s simple Carol: women are the only thing standing between Donald Trump and the presidency. If only men could vote, Trump would win the Electoral College 350-188, a landslide.

Costello: Don’t you think women will be upset about this?

Carlson: Nah, as one of our followers recently Tweeted: “Give out nice enough handbags and most broads would gladly trade their voting rights for one.”

Costello: Did you really just say that?

Carlson: I just quoted one of our followers—look it up. We tell it like it is, Carol. Women don’t have any interest in politics—they won’t miss the vote.

Costello: But the Democratic candidate is a woman, Mr. Carlson.

Carlson: She just won’t be able to vote for herself, no biggie.

Costello: I think you may be underestimating the negative reaction to this.

Carlson: We’ve done a lot of polling, and we think we have the votes to get this through before the election. Americans are really tired of the establishment. It would be the 28th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution—pretty exciting, I’d say.

Costello: You really think you have the support for this?

Carlson: Yeah, so much in fact that we may use the effort to tidy up the Constitution?

Costello: Tidy up?

Carlson: Yeah, like make background checks for firearm sales unconstitutional and other important housekeeping.

Costello: What housekeeping?

Carlson: Mandatory teaching of Genesis in high school, requiring NFL players to stand during the national anthem, legalizing torture—stuff that’s been swept under the rug for too long.

Costello: Wow.

Carlson:
Yeah, we’re going to party like it’s 1919.

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