In the run up to the pivotal Republican Wisconsin Primary, Donald Trump appears on Fox News’ America Live with Megyn Kelly. Mr. Trump appears in a dark blue suit with red tie hanging well below his belt buckle, sitting across from Fox’s blonde rising star.

Kelly: “Mr. Trump, many in the media say last week was your worst yet as a candidate after a precocious high school freshman in Maine broke the story that your ‘Make America Great Again’ hats are made in China. If you look at the monitors, you’ll see pictures of a hat with a shipping label from Shenzhen, China. What do you say to that?”

Trump (raising his hand and right index finger): “First, that’s not a very nice question. We have far more delegates than anyone else and are doing great things, amazing things, even though the RNC is attacking me, which quite frankly is very offensive.”

Kelly: “With all the talk about China stealing our jobs, how do you explain going to China to produce your red hats?”

Trump: “China didn’t steal those jobs from America—the Chinese stole the jobs from the Mexicans, so by buying our hats from China, we’re undermining the Mexicans and showing them we mean business, and by the way, I’m a great businessman who does great deals.”

Kelly: “So by outsourcing production of hats to China, you’re actually helping American workers? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand that at all.”

Trump: “That’s because you’re a blonde ditz, not that all blondes are ditzes. I love blondes and get along great with them, and they love me. Two of my wives were blonde, and they were beautiful, beautiful women, believe me, not like Heidi Cruz or Hillary Clinton.”

Kelly: “Mr. Trump, there are those who say you never take accountability for mistakes.”

Trump: “That’s not a very nice question, Megyn. If I made mistakes, I would consider taking accountability for them, but I don’t make mistakes. I have a big brain and went to Wharton.”

Kelly: “So you don’t take accountability for not being accountable?”

Trump: “I’m not going to answer a hypothetical question.”

Kelly: “Have you ever apologized for something?”

Trump: “I have nothing to apologize for.”

Kelly: “After your campaign manager got arrested for battery against a woman reporter last week, you can’t find something to say you’re sorry for?”

Trump: “On second thought, I can.”

Kelly: “What?”

Trump: “I’m sorry you’re a loser.”

Kelly: “Well, that’s a start.”

Trump: “I’m just getting started, believe me.”

Kelly: “What else?”

Trump: “You’re a bimbo who didn’t get into Wharton, and you’re not very nice.”

Kelly: “So I’ve got that going for me. Any last words, Mr. Trump?“

Trump (holding up his hands): “Take a look at these hands, will you?”

Like this blog? Check out William Goodspeed’s hysterical novel about political correctness in corporate America, Buzz Kill.

 

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