Source: Fox News

Satirical Press International: After one of the safest commercial aviation years in history, a Transavia flight was downed by the most unlikely cause: flatulence. On a flight from Dubai to Amsterdam, a young man created a disturbance with his row mates over repeated farts. “It was unGodly horrible,” bemoaned Jan Ver Beek, a Dutch man who sat next to the offender, “I don’t know what he ate in Dubai, but I can tell you that it did not sit well with him.” Another Dutch row mate, Hans De Jong, described the ensuring scene: “We begged him, again and again, to go to the water closet and get rid of the source of the stench. But he just sat there and let them go repeatedly, like he was taunting us.”

“It was so frustrating,” added Ver Beek. “I rang the flight attendant button, though I feared a spark could set off an explosion. The flight attendant took a couple steps towards us, then started gagging and turned around. We were helpless.”

“Sitting geese,” said De Jong.

“You mean sitting ducks, Hans,” Ver Beek interjected.

“Whatever. There was nothing we could do. I mean, we can’t force someone to go to the bathroom, and who would go in there with him?”

Ver Beek continued: “Tempers started to flare, and we ended up in a scuffle.”

“It’s not easy to fight with one hand holding your nose,” added De Jong.

“Things got pretty tense, and the pilot landed the plane in Vienna,” Ver Beek said.

“And we all got arrested!” De Jong exclaimed. “It was self defense!”

Transavia had no official comment about the incident, only to say that in the future, all flight attendants will be required to attend flatulence training, both prevention and remediation.

 

Author’s Note: This is true story but the names, dialogue and flatulence training are products of the author’s imagination.

 

SUBSCRIBE TO THE SATIRICAL PRESS INTERNATIONAL BLOG