Ames Mayfield, Danger to America

Source: 9News Denver

Satirical Press International: 11 year old Cub Scout Ames Mayfield (photo above) asked one question too many at his den meeting. The Broomfield, Colorado Cub Scout got booted from his den after he asked a question to Colorado State Senator Vicki Marble. At a question-and-answer session with State Senator Marble, Scout Mayfield asked a very detailed question about the Senator’s opposition to gun safety measures, particularly in light of the recent Las Vegas massacre.

A video of the event revealed the Senator’s response: the Las Vegas shooter chose that location in part because Las Vegas is a gun-free zone.

According to Skip Latrobe, former combat veteran and Satirical News Network contributor on military affairs, “You could have had ten concert goers with sniper rifles and grenades at the concert in Las Vegas, and it wouldn’t have made a lick of difference. What the fried green tomatoes was Senator Marble thinking?”

The Senator also stated that she carried a gun but did not indicate whether she had earned a Girl Scout merit badge in marksmanship, an important omission in some Scouts’ minds.

In any event, five days after Scout Mayfield’s inquiry, the Cub Scout pack leader in his area gave Ames the boot, saying his questions were too political. “Too political? It was a meeting with a politician, for cryin’ out loud,” commented an alumnus of Ames’ den from the 1980s who wished to remain anonymous for safety reasons, “What the heck-in-a-handbasket did they expect?”

A spokesperson for Senator Marble refused to elaborate on the Senator’s record, except to say: “If customers can force a restaurant in Charlotte to change the name of an offensive dish (‘Border Patrol Scramble’), then by golly, a Cub Scout den should have the right to punish a Scout for arguing against the Second Amendment. I mean, we don’t live in Canada or the People’s Republic of Denmark?”