At a welcome reception for President Obama and his family at the seat of the Cuban government in Havana, El Capitolio, Fidel and Raúl Castro shared a moment with the American president over strong mojitos with limes in a private chamber.

Fidel: “Bienvenidos a Cuba, Señor Presidente!”

Obama: “Thank you, Señores Castro. It’s great to be here, and may I say, these mojitos with lime are very strong.”

Raúl: “Where is your military uniform, Señor Presidente?”

Obama: “We don’t wear uniforms. I am a civilian.”

Fidel: “What? Then how did you become leader of America?”

Obama: “I was elected—twice.”

Raúl: “How much longer will you be in power, Señor Presidente?”

Obama: “Until next January. May have another mojito please?”

Fidel: “Señor Presidente, I suggest you take the limes out of your glass. People are counting and starting to talk.”

Raúl: “Next January? Do you have a brother who will take over?”

Obama: “No, we have elections in November. Do you have a big plate or something where I can put all these limes?”

Fidel: “Just use the waste bin here and put some napkins over them. I learned that trick a long time ago.”

Raúl: “Elections? Does the party vote on the next president?”

Obama: “No, every citizen over 18 years old can vote.”

Raúl: “Very peculiar and dangerous. Is that what all the fuss is about? I keep seeing this man with strange hair and orange skin talking—he always seems—how do Americans say—pissing off?”

Obama: “Pissed off. Yes, that’s Donald Trump, who will likely be the Republican nominee.”

Fidel: “Is there something the matter with his hands? I heard Señor Rubio talk about it on CNN International.”

Obama: “CNN? Do you have cable? Do you get ESPN here?”

Fidel: “Is Señor Trump on ESPN today?”

Obama: “No, there’s no internet in Cuba, and I’m trying to see how my college basketball bracket is doing. Do you know if Oklahoma won yesterday?”

Raúl to one of his security men: “Please find out if Oklahoma won.”

Obama: “And while you’re at it, could you check on Oregon too?”

Raúl: “Of course.”

Obama: “Man, these mojitos are bueno.”

Fidel: “The secret is the rum.”

Obama: “Oh yeah?”

Fidel in a whisper: “Don’t tell anyone, but we use Bacardi Limon. It’s from Puerto Rico.”

Raúl: “Back to this election, Señor Presidente. This Señor Trump says some crazy things about Latinos and great deals, incredible deals, deals like no Americans have seen.”

Obama: “He’s stoked about deals.” To a waiter while pointing to his mojito: “Could you please top this off?”

Raúl: “Could he win this thing you call an election?”

Obama: “It’s quite possible. He’ll be running against Hillary Clinton, who has some legal problems, so you never know.”

Deep in thought, Raúl says: “Señor Presidente, we are very concerned about this Señor Trump and his deals. Is it possible for you to reinstate the embargo?”

 

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